Today (or whatever’s left of it when I stop procrastinating) is dedicated to going through the couple notebooks I’ve been filling over the last 5 months and to typing up (and hopefully adding to) ideas for poems, games, interactive art, blog posts, and perhaps other tidbits. As limited as my capacities seem by any objective measure — the littleness of the half-filled notebooks, or the 1-minute animation I haven’t finished after half a year, or my spotty progress in learning web programming. — I know (or I’m trying to know) that to do so much is one thing that made a blessing of another year of unremitting depression (though in a lesser degree mostly than 2013). For about a year & a half before that, I could hardly read at all, and 2012 and 2013 fit in a single slim notebook, and I’d already abandoned my third attempt at learning to program.
But I don’t mean to lament, or to suggest that little improvements make up for great challenges, especially those of the intractable sort there is no overcoming. I suppose I mean only that I’m grateful to be creating anything, as much as I’m impatient to do so much more.
Another project, possibly coming in the next week or so, is an e-book re-release of the chapbook Bob and I wrote together, “Yossele: a tale in poems,” a re-imagining of the golem of Prague. It’ll be free, while the print edition will remain available (at cost) through Amazon or from Bob and me.
Speaking of availability, I seem not to have mentioned here before that “god-chaser” is officially out of print, but, in addition to the few copies still floating around (Amazon again and the local-author-friendly UNM Bookstore), you can get a copy from me for $12 plus postage, if any (also at cost, if you can believe it).
Though it’s a little sad to see “god-chaser” go out of print so quickly (the consequence of its coming out in fall 2012, near the beginning of the roughest period), I’m grateful to WordTech Communications for publishing it. It’s nice to have had a “real” publisher for my first book, though I don’t think I’ll be pursuing that route again, mostly because I finally caught on to the open source movement.
Rational though the arguments may be, I don’t believe that people show how much they value things by how much they’re willing to pay for them. The value of a poem, the value of art itself, is created between writers and readers, artists and perceivers. If we don’t pay as much for a song as for a cup of coffee, it isn’t because we don’t understand their relative values. We think the economic system works because it allows us to set an equivalency between things with quite different sorts of value. That’s why it doesn’t work. Saying things are equivalent doesn’t make it so. The piles of currency I’ve spent on coffee can’t diminish the greater nourishment I’ve received from the arts — and how nourished, how grateful, how pleasured, how grown I am after the encounter could never be predicted from the price tag.